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The Blue and White

The Blue and White

Dear parents: Divorced holiday stress is real

Alex Cardona

Dear Parents,

With the Holidays being so cheerful and bright, being a part of a divorced family during these times is very stressful. We know that both parties want us to spend the holidays with them, however, you are part of the problem as to why we aren’t allowed to. 

Listen we get it, you want us to spend the holidays with you, we do too, but having us pick and choose which day we can spend with you is difficult.  I grew up in a divorced family, and let me tell you, having to tell your dad or mom that you can’t spend a certain holiday with them is heartbreaking. 

We are simply just kids trying to give each of our families time, you can’t just give us the option of not spending time with one, but spending it with another. It’s worse when you start competing with each other. Telling us that we would have a “better time”, we’ll get “better gifts, or more “expensive gifts”. We don’t need you trying to bribe us. You’re not making your chances of us staying with you during the holidays better, you’re making us feel guilty enough that we have to stay. 

You’re stressing us out with bribing or bad-talking our other family. Some families won’t even allow us to see the other side. You’re making our holiday experience ten times worse. So please, stop making it so stressful and difficult for us. 

If you want to make the situation better for us, you can

  •  Let us spend one holiday with one parent’s family and the next holiday with the other’s. 
  • Alternate years; this makes it so that even if we miss a holiday (ex. Christmas) with one parent, we can spend that holiday with the other parent the next year. 
  • Let us have the choice of who we want to spend the holidays with, or at least ask our opinions before deciding for us.
  • Respect that we still care for our other family. They might not be a part of yours anymore, but they are still ours. 

With much love, 

Your frustrated child

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